Book title: Living Again
Author: L.L. Collins
Kayley Carson thought she had it all...married to the love of her life, a great job, and a baby on the way. Then one day, her life changes forever when she loses her husband in a tragic accident. No longer sure how to navigate life after her enormous loss, Kayley clings to her newborn baby, her family, and her friends to keep herself living.
When she meets someone that challenges her belief that she's better off alone, she has to decide if she is capable of letting him in after swearing she was never going to love anyone the same way again.
She's not the only one with a painful past. He is struggling with trust issues after a previous relationship went horribly wrong. After a terrible misunderstanding brings out both of their insecurities, will the painful memories of the past keep them both from living again?
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Kayley took a deep breath and pushed open the door, not ready for what she was about to see but needing to see with her own eyes that her Alex was not there, not coming back. She pushed the door shut behind her, not allowing her eyes to travel the room to find him. She could see the bed out of the corner of her eye and knew he was there, but she wasn’t ready to look. She leaned against the door, breathing heavily. What was she thinking? She couldn’t see him like this.
Just like that, she felt him. She felt Alex near her, and her knees almost buckled. She couldn’t explain why she felt that way, could never tell anyone why she thought he was there, but she felt his presence like she felt her own. He was part of her soul; maybe that is why she thought she could feel him here, in this room. She slid down the door and sat on the floor, her chin resting on her knees. She now could see the end of the bed and Alex’s feet sticking up under the covers. She stared at them for what seemed like an eternity, trying to get the courage to stand up and see him for the last time.
Finally, she slowly got up off of the floor. Still averting her eyes, she headed towards the bed that held the love of her life. Her breath came in shallow spurts as she tried to will herself to look at him. Her peripheral vision told her that he was laying there with his arms to his sides and the blanket pulled up to his broad chest. Kayley closed her eyes and stepped closer to the bed, reaching her hands out to grip the railing of the bed so she didn’t run into it. When her hands made contact with the cold metal rails, she sucked her breath in. Open your eyes, she willed herself. Kayley knew that opening them and looking at Alex was a life altering moment. She would never again be the same. She cracked her eyes open, his face coming into view. She willed herself to open her eyes the rest of the way, and when she finally did, she locked her eyes on Alex’s handsome face. He looked- perfect. Peaceful. There was bruising and scrapes on his face, neck, and collarbone, and his head was wrapped in gauze from his surgery, but it was him. Alex. He was laying here just like he was sleeping. His full lips were red, his dark eyelashes fanned across his cheeks. She scanned his broad shoulders and muscular chest and stomach, covered by the blanket but she knew his body like her own. She reached her hand out and touched his hand, briefly, then pulled back, shocked. How could he feel like her Alex, but not be there anymore? She stared at his left hand where the imprint was there of his wedding band, but the jewelry itself wasn’t there anymore. A sob escaped her lips as she realized why- they wouldn’t leave a wedding ring on someone who wasn’t alive anymore.
Kayley’s body shook as her eyes travelled back to Alex’s beautiful face, the face that she had loved for so long now, she could hardly remember a time in her life without him. That face had kissed her so many times, smiled at her, loved her. She reached her hand out again and caressed his face, his lips, his eyes, his beautiful cheekbones. She leaned her face over him and she swore she could still smell the aftershave that he wore and she loved so much. Tears dripped from her eyes onto his face. She wiped them gently away. She leaned down and kissed his lips one more time. They felt just like him, just like home. Her body shuddered as she rested her forehead on his for one last time.
“Alex,” she whispered. “Why, Alex? Why did they take you away from me? It’s not fair, Alex. It’s not fair! You just look like you are sleeping. Wake up, Alex! Wake up!”
Kayley-- Kate Bosworth
Ben- Luke Guldan
Jason Mraz- I Won’t Give Up
Jason Mraz- Lucky
Hunter Hayes- Wanted
Hunter Hayes- Cry With You
Florida Georgia Line- Stay
Maroon 5- Sad
Phillip Phillips- Gone, Gone, Gone
Labrinth- Beneath Your Beautiful
Brad Paisley- Then
Blake Shelton- God Gave Me You
Blake Shelton- Mine Would Be You
Kelly Clarkson- Standing In Front of You
Tim McGraw- My Little Girl
Tim McGraw/ Faith Hill- It’s Your Love
Faith Hill- There You’ll Be
Rascal Flatts- What Hurts the Most
Rascal Flatts- Bless the Broken Road
Justin Timberlake- Mirror
Heartland- I Loved Her First
Lady Antebellum- Need You Now
Lady Antebellum- Ready to Love Again
Lady Antebellum- As You Turn Away
Dave Matthews Band- You and Me
Celine Dion- Alone
David Guetta & Usher- Without You
Daughtry- Start of Something Good
Adele- One and Only
Garden State- Let Go
Jason Derulo- Marry Me
Chantel Kreviazuk- Feels Like Home